@LosLos__: •speed dating•
I'm looking for a girl with fire in her eyes.
Her: Hi. My name is Carrie.
@joanofdarkness: I could be happily married to some dude for 50 year an id still be textin ma pals like "omg do u think he likes me???"
@Darlainky: Your Honor, these 52 selfies on my clients phone at the precise moment of the crime prove that my client can only be guilty of narcissism.
@_Water_Baby: They say that unless you remember history you are destined to repeat it.
-I say to myself every time I think about cutting bangs.
@IGotsSmarts: It was the Busta Rhymes, it was the Worsta Rhymes.
@teacup_giraffe: Walk up to the guy with a popped collar and spiked hair & say "What's up, Chad?" & he'll be all "Whoa... How'd you know my name, bro?"