@LosLos__: •speed dating•
I'm looking for a girl with fire in her eyes.
Her: Hi. My name is Carrie.
@KazHiraiCEO: Nintendo say they are protecting children from inappropriate language online by making their voice chat app so bad that nobody will use it
@KatieLaveski: Diet plan: make friends fatter
@AdamUrbane: Dear women married to homophobic racist adult males:
@JoshontheGo: I've worn glasses three quarters of my life, but I still manage to poke myself in the eye every now and then putting them on!
@Billhenry16: I found a new way to get my wife to wash the car. When ever it gets dusty I write the following on it:
"I wish my Wife was this Dirty".