@shwebby3: •Woozy woman comes up•
"OMG I'm-I'm gonna faint!"
"Go ahead, knock yourself out"
@TheBoydP: “Wow, this toilet is really uncomfortable…”
~Me drunk in the hot tub as my guests throw themselves out
@: Dude I’m the worst when it comes to packing for trips. Like I know I won't need 20 pairs of underwear for a 5 day trip but what if I pee my pants twice every single day I'm there
@MableGertrude: Friend: It looks like you're packing to go on an extended vacation. Where to, the Caribbean or Hawaii?
Me: No, this is just my lunch.
@TomSchally: It's that time of year again when I should really check in on my friends with pools or boats to see how they’ve been since last summer.
@MythicPicnic: Studies show that, on average, humans kept in cubicles live just as long as free-range humans.