@000___000: ♪ I'm like a bird, I'll only swim away, I don't know what a bird is ♪
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@MichaelTrying: As an atheist I don’t receive many xmas cards and the ones I do disproportionately say “may God have mercy on your soul.”
@lilgapeach30: Fine, you drive. I won't tell you how. I'll just yell WE'RE GONNA DIE WE'RE GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA THROW UP AND WE'RE GONNA DIE til we arrive.
@taitutu: Judging by your selfie, I can't help wonder why your mother didn't try & sell you to a circus when you were younger.
@LoveNLunchmeat: People who say losing weight is "just math" clearly have no idea how far out of my way I go to avoid math.