@Criggerific: "Chickfila catering?"
"Yes, sir. How big is your party?"
"Party?"
@KindOfASmartass: Me: My daughters are 15, 13, and 10.
Her: Do you want more kids?
Me: Hahahahahahahaha
Her: Is that a no?
Me: *Deep breathe* Hahahahahaha
@brennadine: [Coworker] Are you smiling at your stapler?
No, just checking for spinach [Laughs nervously].
Oh, good.
[Me, to stapler] Sorry baby I had to
@PurelyYours1: I'm not insulting you..
I'm describing you..
@IndigoCheese: I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND FIND YOU and cuddle you softly.
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