*Things that won't get done today.
@KoKeniSasquatch: My luck can best be described as:
Loses $50 but finds a lighter.
Shit. It's empty.
@mydmac: Taken 5: has anyone seen my doggie?
@Contwixt: Why go through the trouble of becoming an astronaut when you could just put a plastic bag over your head and roll down a hill in a freezer?
@TedBundybitch: When I was younger I wanted to rule the world. Now I just want to spell words close enough that autocorrect can figure out what I'm saying
@SortaBad: FURNITURE MAKER WHO SECRETLY HATES HIS WIFE: Honey I created a new type of cabinet. I’m gonna name it after you
SUSAN: Aw baby that’s sweet