@jesus: 33, Male, Jerusalem. You?
@KateWhineHall: OMG, MY DAUGHTER IS DYING!
Oh, my bad, it's just her reaction to having to do a chore.
@SamGrittner: INMATE: "What are you in for?"
ME: "A real treat, I hope."
@daemonic3: "I literally can't even!"
-- White girl hanging a picture
@semple42: The date was going so well until he called me gorgeous and I blew a bubble out of my nose on accident.