@OhNoSheTwitnt: 🎶 You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I'm telling you why. Life gets worse when you're an adult. 🎶
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@SirEvisiae: *breaks into museum* *sprays fine mist to show alarm lasers* *plays a sweet jam on boombox* *krumps right into each beam*
@hippieswordfish: [arcade] KID: dad, some guy is hogging the claw machine DAD: hey buddy, why don't you give the kid a turn LOBSTER: BACK OFF WE'RE IN LOVE
@The_JRM: 5yo: I dreamt I ate your brownie. Me: Wait, what happened to my brownie?? 5: Dreams come true.