@ibid78: 🎶 And I would walk 500 ft. and I would walk 500 more/ Just to be the man who stayed 1000 ft away as ordered by the court 🎶
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@Douchekevin: My gf told me to take my phone and stick it where the sun don't shine. So I sent it to Seattle. Women make no sense some days.
@AimeeHelene1: Can someone wake me up when this nightmare is over? *lies on floor, closes eyes tight* (in customer service line at Walmart)
@iwearaonesie: my brother turned 30 this weekend and i'll never forget what mom said when dad told her we're growing up too fast "they're eating dog food"