@ibid78: 🎶 And I would walk 500 ft. and I would walk 500 more/ Just to be the man who stayed 1000 ft away as ordered by the court 🎶
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@Brampersandon_: BOSS: You forgot my birthday didn't you? ME: *lighting candle* No what gave u that idea? BOSS: idk maybe that candle stuck in a urinal cake?
@AthenaMystique: Coworker: Oh, look how beautiful! It's snowing again! Me: *stabs coworker with icicle*