@ibid78: 🎶 And I would walk 500 ft. and I would walk 500 more/ Just to be the man who stayed 1000 ft away as ordered by the court 🎶
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@Tmoney68: Friend: You thinking what I'm thinking? Me: It's bullshit there weren't schools from other continents in the Triwizard Tournament? F: ....
@DanDoofus: Twitter is over Capacity! Well, so's my liver but you don't see me slowing down because of it.
@TheMichaelRock: The best salesperson ever was the first woman to shave off her eyebrows and draw them back on, then convince a second woman to do it.
@ibid78: I wish softcore horror was a genre. Like, "LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU IT'S A KITTEN! OH THANK GOD IT'S JUST A FEATHER."