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@jazmasta: *i get on a rollercoaster with my washing machine* "Hold tight son...WAIT! If u are here then.." *son is at home w/ a mouth full of laundry*
@_ethelbeavers: If you're pissed off about a non-white Santa Claus then I've got some very bad news for you about Jesus.
@DawleyGirl: Dinner conversation: 10YO: What 6 things would you want on a deserted island? Me: 1) You-- 10YO: Seriously? Why would you drag me into that?
@SatansTongue: "You can be anything!" Okay I'm going to be Kanye west "Josh that's not what I meant" Shhhh *puts my finger to her lips* It's Kanye now