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@shopkins776: I was told you have to wait an hour after you finish eating to swim. I didn't know there was such a thing as an hour after you finish eating
@TragicAllyHere: [opening the fridge to find no yummy snacks inside] [me to the fridge] you had one job
@cbdoubleu: Well, I've got to hand it to you. -Guy explaining how the baton works in a relay race.
@MelKassel: *pulling up to toll both with megaphone in hand* Booth operator: ma'am please not again Me: someBODY once tolled me—