@Holy_Mowgli: [spelling bee]
JUDGE: the word is "semicolon"
ME: can you use it in a sentence?
JUDGE: not really, no
@MoneypennyNaked: Everyone is drunk except me.
- a horror story
@primawesome: Breaking up with random numbers is my new hobby.
@TEXASVETERAN: I like my women how I like my government: open and unprotected.
@MikeDrucker: TWITTER USERS: It would be nice if you stopped people making death threats.
TWITTER: OK, but what if those death threats could be LONGER?