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@UncleDuke1969: *cocks gun* Me: "Go ahead." Horse: "Just be cool, man." Me: "DRINK." Horse: "No problem. It's just a stupid expression."
@sistersurf: I just read someone's TL who starred me, forgot who I was reading, starred & RT'd a gazillion RT's on their TL, ended up in Mexico married.
@T_Bonezzz_: My girlfriend said she wants me to make her feel like shes the only girl in the world. So I'm gonna drop her off in the desert and leave.
@noogscorner: When she stops crying and gets really quiet, keep your guard up. You're experiencing what scientists refer to as "the eye of the shitstorm."