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@WilliamRodgers: Everyone stop over reacting! There was no Earthquake.... I slipped in the shower, these things happen...
@moneebthinks: Me in the future: Son, you’re going to go far. Son, fiddling with the catapult straps: I question your judgment daily.
@MarkAgee: My mother-in-law's text alert is an entire song. Starting to think my father-in-law's rage isn't really from Vietnam.
@MUMSIEesq: 3YO: MOMMY HELP HELP! ME *throws cat off lap, drops phone, spills coffee on self, runs up stairs, kicks open door* 3YO: I want a snack.