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@totalwackjob: My sex life has improved so much I'm thinking of asking someone else to join me...
@CornOnTheGoblin: [at my funeral] ventriloquist: please don't judge me, he paid me a lot of money to do this me: hi everybody!
@DirtMcTurd: My girlfriend says she's my best friend but she got so mad when I called her a homo and threw a snowball at her face. Women are so confusing