@sammyrhodes: 1. Ask for something. 2. Throw it down. 3. Repeat steps 1 & 2. - Toddler To Do List
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@lacybronze1: I'm surprised more killers haven't lured their victims into their houses by blind folding them and promises of being on a febreze commercial
@ceejoyner: Once a teacher said nobody was buying my cool guy act but he dropped his clipboard and there was a drawing of me in sunglasses on it.
@KevinFarzad: I'm tired of being told to remove my card rapidly. Starting a new ATM for people who wanna remove their card at a more chill pace
@DamienFahey: The government says 50 terror plots have been thwarted since NSA surveillance. What a perfectly even, unsuspicious number.