@TheRobCee: #1 complaint of armored car drivers? People they talk to along the way ending the conversation with "...and you can take THAT to the bank!"
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@garrettbarry70: [Christmas shopping] Me. "I need to get some wrapping paper, shall we split up?" Her. "Ok but I'm keeping the house"
@zaktoscani: Co-worker got his lunch stolen and they’ve agreed to let him watch the security camera tape. This is the most excited I’ve ever been at any job ever. Ever.
@SaraESpivey: I may eat animals, but at least I wait until they're DEAD. Plants are ALIVE, vegans. You disgust me.