@TheRobCee: #1 complaint of armored car drivers? People they talk to along the way ending the conversation with "...and you can take THAT to the bank!"
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@Jez1: You text him, he doesn't text you back. Obviously he was so excited that you texted that he fainted.
@bea_ker: [guy bursts into crowded real estate agents] OK NOBODY MOVE *from back office* Aw c'mon man - really? It's tough enough in this economy.
@EndhooS: Surgeon: I'll be taking out your appendix today Me: [stomach rumbles] Surgeon: [puts stethoscope to my tummy] Appendix: I have a boyfriend
@CornOnTheGoblin: [presses every button in elevator] here's how Michael Bay ruined the ninja turtles