@slimmy_shady: 1) "Obamas spying on you."2) "Eh. Cost of being free!"1) "Obama wants to give you healthcare."2) "WHO THE HELL DOES HE THINK HE IS?"
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@matt_simpson84: The best thing about Facebook is learning about all the 19-year-olds that miss the 80s.
@Kendragarden: Gay marriage is about to become legal in England. Hey, America, how does it feel when your parents are cooler than you?
@WhiskeySoured: Never judge a book by its cover. Besides, you're on Twitter and don't even read books.
@jeffswarens: Anyone who uses the phrase "easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried taking candy from a baby.