@sixthformpoet: 1: Steal ice cream van 2: Drive around slowly but never stop 3: Be proud to have helped prepare children for life's many disappointments
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@DwayneDavidPaul: Pooping on the clock is the small-scale revolt of the working class in preparation for the people's revolution.
@Irish_Dinosaur: "you should be more serious, sir. this is arson." "no this is MY son!" *tousles his hair* "ha ha ha. so how many houses did the rascal burn"
@Sanbel11: [job interview for psychic] INTERVIEWER: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? ME: Well played.