@thatUPSdude: 10 bucks says Kanye signed the guest book at his own wedding.
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@Brianhopecomedy: My buddy has a telescope but I don't think he uses it for astronomy. I asked what his favourite constellation was and he said, "Samantha".
@ChiefTwittler: Probing: Aliens have had plenty of time to figure out our biology -now they're just having fun.
@kumailn: Donald Sterling saying racism is not a problem is like mosquitoes saying malaria is not a problem.