@hipstermermaid: 10 WARNING SIGNS THAT YOU'RE CURRENTLY READING A LIST
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@patrickoriley: It's weird to think there was a time when the most data a tablet could hold was five commandments.
@Ristolable: A girl on Facebook says it's officially too cold to go outside. Thank you for your official confirmation, Madison, I will remain indoors.
@SteveStfler: Biden: Ok here's the plan: have you seen Home Alone Obama: Joe, no Biden: Just one booby trap Obama: Joe
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Teen: Your brows are on fleek! Me: (confused) Yeah well your FACE is on fleek. Teen: Thanks! Me: God damn it.