@MattMcElaney: 10 years ago parents were like "be careful what you put on the web" and we were all "lol. old people." now none of us can ever be President.
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@Humor_Fetish: "Do you want to be the numerator or the denominator tonight...? You're so radical!" How I hit on my imaginary mathematician girlfriend
@amishschool: Did some financial planning and it looks like I can retire at 62 and live comfortably for eleven minutes.
@HomeProbably: My parents were very inspirational, they used to say: "You can do whatever you want in life, as long as you don't do it here."