@weinerdog4life: 100% legal to pay a kid to punch another kid in the face.
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@NikatNiteNite: Why are there never any cool side affects from drugs? Like "this drug may cause severe sexiness"
@usedwigs: Your Google Self-Driving car should be taken away if you don't let your dog sit in the driver's seat while you hold a map riding shotgun.
@captainkalvis: CUSTOMER: id like buy a turtle, please ME: ok CUSTOMER: and make it quick ME: *grabbing him by the collar* DO I LOOK LIKE GOD TO YOU