@Ristolable: 100% of car accidents happen within exactly five miles of something. If you're within five miles of anything right now, move.
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@NotthatAdamWest: Saw a bumper sticker that said 'Jesus is the answer.' Two cars later I saw one that said 'Who farted?' Best game of Highway Jeopardy ever.
@CornerPubRon: Halloween is without question the easiest time of year to kill somebody and just leave their body decomposing on your porch for a month
@sammyrhodes: If you've ever wondered which of your friends loved V for Vendetta, you're in luck today.