@danjan13: 100% of murder victims who responded to the survey really freaked us out.
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@gruffybeard: 9: Daddy, wanna hear something cool? Me: Sure! 9: *tells story* Me: Ok, well clearly we need to work on how you define "something cool".
@squirrel74wkgn: [slowly removing special glasses] Me (looking left): Bob, that eclipse was amazing Bob (taps my right shoulder): Hey, I'm over here
@goldengateblond: Wait til the people so excited about all-day breakfast at McDonald's find out they can make breakfast at home whenever they want.