@Jenny4ashley: 1,000 Ways To Die is so unrealistic. There's no episode where a man asks a woman 'what's wrong?'
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@VeganZebra: *drinking my first beer with my dad* "I can't believe you made me eat the other ones"
@davidkenny100: Work meeting Boss: it's come to my attention that someone has been eating out of the trash! Everyone, including his pet raccoon looks at me
@ilovepie84: If you see a hot girl walking you should honk your horn to let her know you're intrested and afraid to talk to girls.