@Jenny4ashley: 1,000 Ways To Die is so unrealistic. There's no episode where a man asks a woman 'what's wrong?'
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@Contwixt: That awkward moment when you realize your wife's funeral is turning into a sausage-fest.
@callie_cakes: Pro Tip: Don't EVER tell a 10yr old boy that you don't "get" X-Men. Because. They. Will. Explain. It.
@TastyTuneTweets: Idea: ATM that sends you encouraging messages like "You Can Do it" or "Ramen Noodles Aren't So Bad" when you check your sad Account Balance
@robdelaney: My uncle was found dead in his office last night by cleaning staff. I'm glad because he wore Crocs to my wedding in 2006.