@Jenny4ashley: 1,000 Ways To Die is so unrealistic. There's no episode where a man asks a woman 'what's wrong?'
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@JediGigi: [end of date] Him: I'll text you soon. Her: Cool. I'll just sit here in your car until you do.
@TheAlexNevil: Decades have gone by and STILL my parents have not given back the Halloween candy they took from me "for safe keeping".
@chewlongkok_: Me: C'mon, baby. Just the tip? Her: No! Me: Awww, cmon! Her: No, you're paying the whole bill this time.
@MissBamantha: Nothing in the history of the English language has backfired more than the phrase "calm down."