@Manda_like_wine: 1000s flocked to NJ to see the Virgin Mary in a tree trunk. But, don't judge them, friends. When was the last time you saw a virgin in NJ?
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@AndyAsAdjective: captain: a lot of rumors floating around saying I sunk the ship sailor: [clinging to a piece of the hull] please stop calling us rumors sir
@garrettbarry70: Super excited about staying at my daughter's place so I can eat her cereal and leave the empty box in her cupboard.
@SaxMouse: When you get to jail, challenge the biggest, baddest guy in there to rock, paper, scissors in front of all his friends