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@thepunningman: "As CEO of Tortoise Enterprises, this merger with Slug Corp is... Linda, where is everyone?" "They all called to say they're running late"
@That_Damn_Duck: How I wear a scarf: 1. Take scarf and drape it over my shoulder 2. Find an annoying co-worker and choke them to death with it. 3. Repeat
@Swishergirl24: The hardest part about going through a divorce is finding a hitman you can trust.