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@Robski_Boy: Went to see a psychic without an appointment and he wasn't expecting me ?
@Brentweets: "Sir how did you survive the snowmageddon?"
"I stayed in"
@TheCatWhisprer: Are you supposed to wear the fanny pack over the gut or underneath it? I don't want to look like a dork.
@NiceLittleWife: When I go to Victoria's Secret, I just throw things on the floor to see how they'll really look.
@XplodingUnicorn: In case you wondered how much patience I have for questions today, I just told my 4-year-old the sky is blue because I said so.