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@BuckyIsotope: Brought a stapler to a gun fight and now everyone is neatly organized into piles of corpses and sorted by height. The police will be pleased
@NJPsychDoc: Was up all night wondering, why do people compliment me for having all my shit together & yet still insult me for being full of it?
@KevinFarzad: MATH Q: 5 friends wanna split a $50 dinner. But Josh wants a separate check bc his thing was $2 less. Really, Josh? This is y nobody likes u
@CornOnTheGoblin: [sees co-worker the next day after failing to kill him on purge night] mondays am i right?