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@goodersuk74: Unless you fell off the treadmill and smashed your face open I really dont need to hear about your gym workout
@tequilasaltlife: I'm at my most spiderman when using a public restroom
@Swishergirl24: I was hoping to lose weight when I quit drinking, but it turns out that's not how pregnancy works.
@JustLikeMikee: 70% of our planet is covered in water, the other 30% is covered in idiots
@captaincoximus: When asked my theory on Amelia Earhart's disappearance I said "maybe she went black" and now I don't have to help with homework