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@mynameisntdave: I got robbed last night but in the best way possible: I was pickpocketed which means I didn't even have to talk to the person who robbed me.
@Swishergirl24: I'm developing an app that makes a cricket sound effect at the end of my coworkers' stories.
@Bandersnaaatch: There's a bird in the yard and she's shaking her tail feathers in hope of attracting a mate. HE SHOULD LOVE YOU FOR YOUR BRAIN, I yell.
@trojansauce: origin stories: spiderman: bitten by spider green hornet: bitten by green hornet gambit: bitten by a gam magneto: bitten by magnetic toe