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@NotARatsAss: Tried to make a video seductively licking the frosting from an Oreo, but got excited and ate the whole thing. Twenty times.
@NotYourSoulmate: Some lady brought a gaggle of pre-teens to the movie, sat them down next to us & then sat elsewhere. I sold them all on the black market.
@FormerGrunt: When I die, just toss my body out of an airplane flying over NYC while wearing a superman costume.
@AaronFullerton: We can teach kids there's no "i" in team but it's way more important to teach them that there's no "a" in definitely.