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@sad_tree: *sees guy ordering pizza* "With onion" (Ok) "Sausage" (Nice) "Mushroom" (Hell yea) "Chk" (Plz) "Meatballs" (Why) "Anchovies" (Ur dead to me)
@amselts: *cleans house while wife's out* W: *walks in* wow babe, thanks so- M: APRIL FOOL'S *runs around making huge mess til it's worse than before*
@joshy_beck: There was a cricket on my toilet seat so I just backed out awkwardly. Lock the door next time, bro.