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@ItMightBeJim: Meets girl at bar. Takes her to Ikea. Quickly learns the difference between one-night stand and one nightstand.
@daemonic3: Mr. Trump, what will you do as President? TRUMP: I'll outlaw shredded cheese and only sell blocks Why? TRUMP: To make America grate again
@murrman5: good news and bad news. bad news is the dog pissed on the bed "we don't have a dog" *smiles getting ready to deliver the good news*
@imlaurenmcguire: I like that all the Ikea instructions illustrations always assume I have a friend.