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@JediGigi: Ugh my boyfriend's all "Stop asking my Dad if he likes your underoos" and "Stop snap-chatting my Mom" and "Stop calling me your boyfriend"
@Ygrene: [first date] DATE: so you love dogs? ME: yes, I relate to them very much DATE: aww that's swee- [a fly buzzes my head and I try to bite it]
@ShesARealGenius: ME: Brad's here HUSBAND: Brad who needs space or Brad who's paranoid about being murdered? BRAD: OMG u 2 are smothering me ME: I've no idea
@SortaSarcastic: 90% of life is just having the courage to show up. The other 30% is just checking the math.