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@pinupteacher: My cab driver just described Seattle as "Not that horrible of a place." Get that guy a job on the tourism board.
@junejuly12: *receives invitation to dry wedding* *becomes wine smuggler and most popular wedding guest ever*
@JamesBarretts: Immediately after giving birth to me my mom was charged with crimes against humanity
@Sassafrantz: If I'm ever reincarnated I hope I get to be a bear because I'll be like "stop playing dead, I used to be human. That shits not gonna work!"