YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@awkwardphilippe: If you love someone, throw your earbuds at them. There's a good chance they'll be entangled in them and won't be able to run.
@Brianhopecomedy: *2 year old runs by screaming* *72 ducks chasing her* "YOU HAVE TO LET GO OF THE BREAD."
@moooooog35: [1st day in Senate] Me: I'm against genetic engineering Scientist: We've developed kids w/ volume knobs Me: How much funding do you need