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@flashember: [after robots take over] *drones crash into my kitchen* ME: [mouthful of ham] whobithrayed me? *fridge starts laughing* BUT U WERE MY FABRIT
@WilliamAder: In a perfect world, the phrase "axe body spray" would only be used to refer to blood splatter patterns.
@AbbyHasIssues: If you bump into someone at the grocery store and say goodbye, there's a 99 percent chance you'll see them in every single aisle after that.