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@turtledumplin: We all have that one friend who thinks they can sing...and if you can't think of who, that friend is you.
@SamuelHLowe: - 911, what's your emergency? - My nephew just swallowed a lighter! - What's your address? - Never mind, I found some matches.
@Chumpstring: GENIE: you have three wishes ME: wow ok gimme a second GENIE: done ME: wait GENIE: sure if that's your wish ME: be quiet GENIE: ME: damn