@JennyPentland: 10yo: When in doubt, albatrout.
Me: What the hell is albatrout? That's not real.
10yo: Now you're in doubt!
Me: But…
10yo: ALBATROUT
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@mamatomy3: Me: There is a small tree on fire. 911: Could you describe it? Me:Picture shrubbery...now picture it engulfed in flames.
@AimeeHelene1: Him: What? I couldn't understand you. Me: gnbkfshbffjjg H: What?! Me: GNBKFSHBFFJJG! H: Damnit Aimee! Take the burrito out of your mouth!
@_NTFG_: Sometimes when I say "I'm OK", what I really want is for someone to give me a hug, say "You're not OK" and hand me $10,000.
@omgthatspunny: I told a deer joke once. It was very fawny.
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