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@jonnysun: [puts cone of shame on dog] ME: (to dog) sory buddy DOG: (to all other dogs in neighborhod) BOW DOWN TO LORD FLOFFYTON HEARER OF ALL BARKS
@sip_at_home_mom: I'm finally putting that giant exercise ball to use, and my core is hurting from laughing at Toddler Dodgeball.
@Thee1_4U: Damn girl, are you a jar of pickles? Because I think I NEED to bang you on my kitchen counter.
@Quartzjixler: Doritos has a new snack called "Taco Explosion" so I'm suing Frito Lay for stealing my term for what occurs an hour after eating Taco Bell.