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@rockymomax: MORGAN FREEMAN: I'm here to narrate your life ME: cool! [2 hrs later] MF: he's still trying to figure out the childproof cap on his Tylenol
@goodtimenoel: You're all arguing about what color the dress is... While I'm having sex with the girl who took it off.
@thenatewolf: *she hears me singing in the shower* Her: oh he's so cute *she hears a guitar amp click on and feedback ring out* Her: NATE NOOOOOOOOOOOO