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@realHamOnWry: Two men came to the door asking if I'd found Jesus. I had no idea he was missing and I suddenly got nervous thinking I might be a suspect.
@vikkaroni: You're never too old to throw random shit in people's shopping carts when they aren't looking.
@torrami: Rules for being a good neighbor: 1. MIND YOUR OWN GODDAMN BUSINESS 2. Don't forget rule number one.