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@waitfortheQ: This mosquito that bit me is going to regret doing it , have fun being on birth control , valium and beer mf .
@TheAlexNevil: Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the Lord my soul...to keep... If I shall die before I wake-- Yah, I really don't like where this is going.
@thepaulahunt: "May you have a long happy life together and never be killed by blunt force trauma caused by your spouse to collect insurance money." - Me, giving a wedding toast I did not properly prepare to give because I spent all my preparation time watching true crime shows