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@daemonic3: kid: dad I can't sleep me: why not? kid: do you see that monster under my bed? me: [looks under bed] OMG yes kid: well I drank the whole can :(
@Barknado69: "I got your back" "And I got your nose" "Ooh I want his feet" Mr. Potato Head: *sobbing* guys stop it
@FreshClemonade: Me: "Bond." *lowers sunglasses* "James Bond." Cashier: "You've been doing that for 35 minutes. Are you going to buy the sunglasses or not?"