@heymonroe: 14 year old me would be shocked to learn that knowing every word to Billy Joel's 'We didn't start the fire' has done nothing for our career.
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@SaraMansford: The only way I'd be scared of a ghost is if one was coming at me wearing a fitted sheet that I thought I'd have to eventually fold.
@handsock_butts: 6 year old: daddy look we've had a whirlpool in our house this whole time! Dad: for the love of god Timmy please get out of the toilet
@LoriLuvsShoes: My 16: "How come when my friends come over you're suddenly the nicest mom in the world?"
@karlainvt: It's so cute how my kids think I'm going to go look for them after I finish counting to ten.