@heymonroe: 14 year old me would be shocked to learn that knowing every word to Billy Joel's 'We didn't start the fire' has done nothing for our career.
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@TheCatWhisprer: [texting] WIFE: need to talk when u get home ME: about what WIFE: too much to text just wait till u get home ME: *never goes home*
@AristotlesNZ: I don't know how you women do it. Every time I try to "sleep my way to the top" I get woken up and sent to HR.
@daemonic3: [interview] Any questions? "Why isn't Bigfoot called Bigfeet?" No about working here "Oh! If he worked here would you call him Bigfeet?"
@bananagrvyrd: Sometimes when I look into the sky I get overwhelmed with emotion and eat the nearest entire tree and everything living in that tree