@LogicLaughs: 15 Is The Age Where You Either Look Like 11 Or 25.
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@TheAlexNevil: Death: I've come for you. Me: That's what she said. D (bursts out laughing): You get me with that one every time! Ok, see ya.
@mattZillaaaa: *drops pizza slice on the floor Hey can I get another slice? *eats slice that fell on the floor then eats new slice
@jergarl: Wife: Are you drunk? Me: I know this is a trick question so I'm going with no. Why? W: Because you're naked on the neighbors porch. M:...
@SufficientCharm: That burrito didn't agree with me. And then I was like "Why am I arguing with a burrito?!"