@PantsDonkey: 1:5 people in the world are Chinese. My family has 5 people so its either my mom, dad, brother Colin or Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Colin
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@Dr_awfulpants: [Spelling Bee] -Your word is phlegm -Can you use it in a sentence? *loudly clears throat for 5 minutes*
@mantej: PRO TIP: Name your first child "butter", then accidentally take a different baby home just so you can say "I can't believe it's not butter!”
@david8hughes: [date] Me: you wanna see what desserts they have? Girl: how about we go home & I'll let you- Me [calls waiter]: what desserts do u have?