@bigmacher: 16 zombie actors injured on movie set. Saddly no one noticed for 3 hours.
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@purplefuzzygirl: Damn boy! Are you a slinky? Cause I wanna wanna push you down a flight of stairs, then kick you when you stop halfway to the bottom.
@DirtMcTurd: [friend being eaten by a bear] *screaming violently* Me: Stay calm! Don't move so much! I'm trying to take a picture for snapchat!
@AlexvanBeek: [10mins from now] ..& just like that North Korea was removed from history & got nuked by every country on Earth for bringing down Twitter..
@FilthyRichmond: Fox News reports that President Obama rapped his oath in Arabic while cutting the head off a goat.