@bigmacher: 16 zombie actors injured on movie set. Saddly no one noticed for 3 hours.
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@tarrynklaudia_x: If there's enough room to spell 'bootylicious' on the back of your shorts, it probably isn't.
@_GrahamPatrick: GUY #1: You free next week? GUY #2: Let me just check my dairy. GUY #1: You mean diary yeah? *cow walks by with "dentist 11.30" on it*
@yoyoha: If I was a marriage counselor I would just make the couple look at a dating website for 20 minutes.