@fro_vo: 16,875,547,322 traffic-related bug deaths so far this year
@PieChord: My wife gives the best headache.
@PaperWash: "ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE LOL!"
-captain of the Titanic
@robdelaney: If you pitch a non-superhero, non-remake, non-sequel film in Hollywood they send your family to a work camp.
@AngelaEhh: I just want to bring your heart to it's knees.
... And while you're down there...
@heidiknits: Just had a 9 minute argument with The Boy over why he needs to change his underwear this morning.
Don't forget your birth control, friends.