@girl_a_whirl: You know you're a mover & a shaker when HR rewrites the dress code for you. Whatever Anita, those tear-away pants looked fabulous on me.

@JimmerThatisAll: This day in history. 1701. Maryland legalized divorce in cases where the wife displeased their clergyman. What kind of kinky cult was that?

@daemonic3: [restaurant] WAITER: Would you like a booth or a table? TERMITE: [handing back menu] The table sounds delicious, thanks

@bellicosejason: I'm going to the hospital tomorrow...not because I'm sick, but because they have free pudding if you're fast enough.

@TheTalkingPipe: Don't care what your religious or political beliefs are, if you're male or female, young or old. I will tackle you hard for that last donut.