@NatBaimel: 17 year-old Malia Obama playing beer pong is the most outrageous thing the child of a president has done since George W. Bush invaded Iraq
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@Rainbowbunee: My gf & I are toying w/the idea of changing both of our last names rather than hyphenate Easier & we can have fun with it Mrs Velociraptor.
@Dawn_M_: [Speed Dating] People act weird when I explain that I ate my twin in the womb, but when would have been the right time to do it?
@8bitgun: almost called my teacher "mom," but I caught myself after "mo" and added an "n." I had to pretend I was Jamaican for the rest of the year.