@callmeshitto: 18 years ago today, Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum saved our country and our PLANET from an alien invasion. Never forget
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@NoTheOtherJohn: "NOAH. YOU WILL BUILD AN ARK" k "NOT "K" THIS IS IMPORTANT" Sorry "THATS OK. TAKE 2 OF EVERY ANIMAL ON IT" Even fish? *THUNDER* "NO NOT FISH
@MrSandeepP: My ex is going to make some guy very happy one day but completely miserable the rest of the time.
@ambamthankyamam: My life coach just asked me leave because apparently she has "other pedicures to do" and doesn't "speak English".