@IamEveryDayPpl: 1978 was all about running home when the street lights came on and dressing in the closet so my Shaun Cassidy posters didn't see me naked...
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@3sunzzz: [8am, phone rings] Hotel Desk: Ma'am we're going to be turning off the water for about 2 hours this morning. Me: No worries, I have vodka.
@thevirtualidiot: On second thought this "Thug's Life" tattoo probably shouldn't have been done in Comic Sans.
@ShittyComedian: I was having sex with this woman for 10 minutes before I realized it was a man, and then for like 20 minutes after.
@bourgeoisalien: It's important when dieting to reward yourself and take a break. Then, when you return to your diet a decade later you're all set to go